Being Stubborn

The day after Labor Day and walking to class I feel like a little kid on my first day of school. I have my new bookbag, my handy dandy laptop, my Stats book, a notebook, a folder, and some pens and pencils. And I feel like I'm five.

But if this scenario is running in the same vein as the rest I have been through this past weekend the response would be, "That's normal."

My question is, what in the world is "normal"??? I have looked all over for it, because normal in my brain means sitting outside and hearing the crickets and the bullfrogs, the wind in the trees and the train blowing its whistle 10 miles away. Normal is being able to look out my window each morning and see the sunrise through my trees. Normal is going to good old WC from 7 AM to 7 PM and enjoying running around the hallways talking and laughing and working. Normal is going over to L&B's and watching the kiddos play, the water lap under the dock, and the stars begin to spatter across the sky in a brilliant pattern. Normal is hearing my dad play the guitar at night. Normal is laughing and cracking jokes alllll day with my mom, the coolest, most awesome person in the whole wide world. Normal is asking deep theological questions with Justin about whether or not Adam and Eve had belly buttons. Normal is taking a delightful nap on the davenport of my best buddy Mary O. That's normal.

This? This isn't normal. At all.

This is crazy. This is going to the gym for two hours and shooting over and over and over again. This is walking everywhere-to breakfast, to class, to lunch, to the gym, to dinner, to my dorm. This is hearing constant noise-the busses, the cars, the sirens, the machines, the people. This is constant brain stimulation as a thousand conversations go on at once. This is looking out the window and seeing miles of brick and metal and concrete. This is looking up and seeing mountains and steeples and trains in every direction. This is being surrounded by people that have gone to a prep school, a private school, a massive public school, a boarding school, or at least definitely a school where coming here is normal for the good kids...normal.

There it is again. The word normal. Well, I do know one thing that is normal. My stubborn attitude that keeps running into the same wall of, "What in the world am I doing here??" That feeling is around so consistently that it has definitely made it into the category of a "new normal".

And another thing that is normal: God has it alllllll in control. Still. Always. Forever. And I am definitely okay with that normal.

So there are my musings for this Tuesday after Labor Day. I want to thank all of you who have been praying for me and keeping me in your thoughts. It is truly truly appreciated. I would love to grin and bear it and act like this is a piece of cake. But I won't kid you-it's rough. But I know who is in control so it is not unbearable. It will be good. And I will come back filled to overflowing with stories and experiences. But until Christmas, I will dearly miss my dear old "normal" home of Henderson County, Illinois.

Much love to all! And have a most wonderful week!

O&O, M